Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every DaySimon and Schuster, 2000 M08 18 - 288 pages From the acclaimed author of the perennial favorite Boundaries, Where to Draw the Line is a practical guide to establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries in many different situations. With every encounter, we either demonstrate that we’ll protect what we value or that we’ll give ourselves away. Healthy boundaries preserve our integrity. Unlike defenses, which isolate us from our true selves and from those we love, boundaries filter out harm. This book provides the tools and insights needed to create boundaries so that we can allow time and energy for the things that matter—and helps break down limiting defenses that stunt personal growth. Focusing on every facet of daily life—from friendships and sexual relationships to dress and appearance to money, food, and psychotherapy—Katherine presents case studies highlighting the ways in which individuals violate their own boundaries or let other people breach them. Using real-life examples, from self-sacrificing mothers to obsessive neat freaks, she offers specific advice on making choices that balance one’s own needs with the needs of others. Boundaries are the unseen structures that support healthy, productive lives. Where to Draw the Line shows readers how to strengthen them and hold them in place every day. |
Contents
Multitudinous Gratitude | 9 |
What Are Boundaries? | 13 |
Time Boundaries | 16 |
Defenses versus Boundaries | 26 |
Communication Boundaries | 40 |
Setting Boundaries on Defensiveness | 60 |
Boundary Violations | 77 |
Setting Limits on Attack | 88 |
Gender Boundaries | 172 |
Divorce Boundaries | 194 |
Possession Boundaries | 198 |
Parent Boundaries | 211 |
Spiritual Boundaries | 218 |
Tidiness Boundaries | 225 |
Dress and Appearance Boundaries | 231 |
Boundaries for Illness and Chronic Conditions | 238 |
Anger Boundaries | 95 |
Making Amends | 103 |
Friendship Boundaries | 116 |
Gossip Gossip Gossip or Triangulation | 129 |
Intimacy Boundaries | 137 |
Holiday Birthday and Celebration Boundaries | 150 |
Sexual Boundaries | 163 |
When Someone Is Dying | 250 |
Autonomy Boundaries | 258 |
Food Boundaries | 266 |
Internet Boundaries | 274 |
Therapist Boundaries | 278 |
Your Safe Country | 286 |
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Common terms and phrases
abuse adult amends anger angry Anita appropriate Aunt Mabel behavior billiard ball boundary error boundary violation Branwen cause Cher child client close Codependence communication conversation create culture defense dinner energy ergy example express father feel felt female food addiction friends friendship gender gift girls give gossip handle harm healthy holiday hurt important integrity intimacy intimate invited issue Jean Houston Jeff John Gottman Karenna keep Kelly Langley limits listen living look Mahla marriage married minutes missing mistake monal mother movie mower never offer okay ourselves parent partner Pay attention person physical protect rage raising your voice realize relationship request response set a boundary sexual Shaian sister situation someone stay stop Sven sweet potatoes talk tell therapist things Thursdays tidiness tion trust Twelve-step programs wait What's woman women