Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day

Front Cover
Simon and Schuster, 2000 M08 18 - 288 pages
From the acclaimed author of the perennial favorite Boundaries, Where to Draw the Line is a practical guide to establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries in many different situations.

With every encounter, we either demonstrate that we’ll protect what we value or that we’ll give ourselves away. Healthy boundaries preserve our integrity. Unlike defenses, which isolate us from our true selves and from those we love, boundaries filter out harm.

This book provides the tools and insights needed to create boundaries so that we can allow time and energy for the things that matter—and helps break down limiting defenses that stunt personal growth. Focusing on every facet of daily life—from friendships and sexual relationships to dress and appearance to money, food, and psychotherapy—Katherine presents case studies highlighting the ways in which individuals violate their own boundaries or let other people breach them. Using real-life examples, from self-sacrificing mothers to obsessive neat freaks, she offers specific advice on making choices that balance one’s own needs with the needs of others.

Boundaries are the unseen structures that support healthy, productive lives. Where to Draw the Line shows readers how to strengthen them and hold them in place every day.
 

Selected pages

Contents

Multitudinous Gratitude
9
What Are Boundaries?
13
Time Boundaries
16
Defenses versus Boundaries
26
Communication Boundaries
40
Setting Boundaries on Defensiveness
60
Boundary Violations
77
Setting Limits on Attack
88
Gender Boundaries
172
Divorce Boundaries
194
Possession Boundaries
198
Parent Boundaries
211
Spiritual Boundaries
218
Tidiness Boundaries
225
Dress and Appearance Boundaries
231
Boundaries for Illness and Chronic Conditions
238

Anger Boundaries
95
Making Amends
103
Friendship Boundaries
116
Gossip Gossip Gossip or Triangulation
129
Intimacy Boundaries
137
Holiday Birthday and Celebration Boundaries
150
Sexual Boundaries
163
When Someone Is Dying
250
Autonomy Boundaries
258
Food Boundaries
266
Internet Boundaries
274
Therapist Boundaries
278
Your Safe Country
286
Copyright

Other editions - View all

Common terms and phrases

About the author (2000)

Anne Katherine, now retired from her forty years as a psychotherapist, is a screenwriter, ghost writer, and National Park ranger. She is the author of numerous titles, including Boundaries, Where to Draw the Line, The Yesterday Doctor, and Stalking Yosemite.

Bibliographic information